At the onset of the coronavirus pandemic, I was not particularly upset about social distancing from our grandson Cooper since he lives in faraway Fiji anyway. And my husband Jesse and I were fortunate to be visiting Cooper and his parents in early March, right before our world started shutting down and isolating. I wouldn’t have expected to be together with our Fiji family until at least June anyway. But now June has come and gone, while the pandemic seems interminable, and I have absolutely no idea when we will all be together again. They can’t leave Fiji to travel to us or meet us elsewhere. And we can’t go to Fiji, even if we would agree to take very long, potentially virus-infected plane rides. No airplanes are bringing unwelcome foreigners to Fiji.
On their website Fiji Airways updated their travel alert on July 14: "Fiji Airways, Fiji’s national airline, has extended international flight cancellations through the end of August. The continued cancellations are due to prolonged border closures and travel restrictions as a consequence of the COVID-19 Pandemic."
If that isn’t sad enough, even a letter which I recently wrote to almost four-year-old Cooper was returned to me by the United States Postal Service, stamped “Mail service suspended.” I had sent Cooper some colorful animal cards in an envelope affixed with a special Jupiter train stamp in an alternative attempt to maintain the close bonds that I had been fortunate to develop by relatively frequent in-person plans over the course of his distant life. But now, not even letters from America can go to Fiji! That’s when I realized that I am indeed a sad Nana.
So to appropriate from a recent book/movie title, “Where’d you go, Nana Beryl?" And the short answer to that is “Nowhere!” It’s been two months since my last blog post on Finally Nana, and the elimination of COVID-19 is still Nowhere in sight. So the return to our world as we used to know it is also on hold. I am usually an upbeat person but this coronavirus continuation is wearing on me. I can accept that I can’t travel much anymore but the inability to visit with or even make plans to see our grandson is making me very sad.
I assume many other grandparents are feeling the same way. But after months of quarantining, many are loosening the social distancing lockdown imposition with their grandchildren if everyone has been well and careful. And likely doing that more so if they are fortunate to live relatively near each other. Or they may even be driving some distance or planning a summer vacation together.
Obviously, that’s not going to happen with us. The way COVID-19 continues to spread in the United States, I didn’t expect to travel to Fiji by the end of August at this point anyway. But when? I can’t blame Fiji. If I ran a small island country with limited health resources, I certainly wouldn’t allow cavalier Americans to escape to my shores.
Our daughter Stacy still continues to make a concerted effort to Facetime with us weekly. Jesse and I are thrilled to communicate with her and Cooper, and occasionally Jason (who is a lot busier these days with resuming running a restaurant). But I am not so sure Cooper is so excited to FaceTime visit, as our smiling virtual faces are competing with his real active life of toys, sports, pets, friends, meals, and of course his mother’s attention.
As I described in a blog post # 27 (Still Germinating), life was altered for Cooper and family when some COVID-19 cases were identified in Fiji in May. All residents where they live in Suva, Fiji’s capital, were committed to a stay-at-home lock-down for two weeks. Authorities even visited homes to take resident temperatures and assess illness. So there was no school/day care which Cooper had been enjoyably attending three full days a week. That left Stacy and Jason creating homebound enrichment activities for Cooper in arts, crafts and cooking, and when possible sneaking out for some nearby social distancing outings. The lockdown was fortunately released when no further cases were identified. Stacy and Jason could gradually return to work, but there was still no school and Cooper was very much missing playtime with friends. So with several other families in the same predicament, they developed a joint nanny camp, combining efforts with their Fijian childcare providers, convening the playgroup at local parks or alternating children’s homes.
Nanny camp exceeded their expectations for offering alternative daycare and peer interaction. The kids loved being together and likely so did their nannies. According to Stacy, one young Fiji nanny has the makings of a terrific early childhood educator, planning a daily variety of entertaining and learning activities.
As school recently re-opened, Cooper missed his new playgroups. So Stacy has considered changing his school schedule to continue to incorporate nanny camp in his weekly plans.
I was heartened by a video that Stacy posted on her daily Tinybeans calendar which showed Cooper playing airplane trip with his buddies. The “captain” (the kid wearing the pilot’s hat) asked the others where they should go. Cooper kept suggesting “California.” That’s where his flights from Fiji go to reach America. Admittedly, I am not sure if the fantasy plane ride “went” to California as an older kid kept lobbying for Egypt. But at least Cooper was thinking fondly of his past visits with us, or perhaps just the exciting plane rides.
Recently our holiday winter weeks for our Telluride lodge were confirmed, so I informed Stacy by email, trying not to pressure but offering a hopeful future option for being together:
"Just to let you know we are confirmed for 2 weeks around the holidays. If, if, if … this works out re coronavirus, Jason’s work, etc. etc., you are welcome to join us for all or any part of the 2 weeks
xoxo mom & dad"
Her reply was not encouraging:
"8 new cases of COVID in Fiji coming in off a repatriation flight from India. They were all in quarantine and now are all isolated.
But big worry that with more flights it could get out into community transmission here - and then everyone goes back into lockdown. That would be a disaster for us with Governors [Jason’s restaurant] which is otherwise doing well.
I don’t see us being able to travel any time soon. And if we did, we might be subject to 1 month of quarantine (as is currently the case - 14 day quarantine then 14 days self-isolation at home).
Xox, Stacy"
Well I hadn’t considered December and January “any time soon” but Stacy’s response accentuated our dismal future prospects about getting together, further adding to my sad Nana feelings.
However, I realize that Cooper, Stacy and Jason have busy lives and are likely not missing us as much as we grandparents are missing them. Similarly, while our own children were growing up with us in the Boston area, Jesse and I also negotiated busy lives that were distant from my parents who lived in Florida. We managed to enjoyably get together every 4 to 6 months, but I doubt that I personally missed my parents in between, or did their grandkids. And of course, we only had landline phone calls to otherwise connect -- no email, mobile phones, Facebook, FaceTime, etc.
Admittedly, Nana has not spent this perpetuating pandemic by continually “crying in her soup.” (a likely Great Depression era expression, meaning you were not being grateful that you even had soup to eat while many others had no soup and much worse.) Anyway, I have been cooking extensively in the past four months, including a much-favored Jewish chicken soup, some of which I even froze in case I became sick and needed some homemade sustenance. Fortunately so far, the soup is still in the freezer. I have cooked well over a hundred dinners for me and Jesse, rarely ordering or eating out. My menu has evolved from cold-weather, belly-filling, one-pot dishes like paella, beef Stroganoff, chicken cacciatore and a wide variety of internationally themed-chicken courses, to outdoor grilling of fish, beef and more chicken, and summer salads. I even made a rack of lamb that would have probably received a thumbs up from chef Jason.
While I am usually careful about my food intake to avoid weight gain, I was initially more lenient in the uncertainty of longevity in the coronavirus era. Denial of happy hour and tasty snacks seemed pointless. Eventually, as I told my much more diet conscientious sister, “So I’m not dying and now I’m fat!” Anyway, I’m back to being more careful, at least on weekdays, although it’s hard to tell weekdays from weekends lately.
My winter bouts of respiratory issues which I described in blog post # 27 seemed to have subsided. But having wondered whether there had been any connection to COVID-19, I sought an antibody test. And the results were … drum roll …negative. So I am no more immune to the dreaded coronavirus than anyone else. I’ve had telemedicine physical therapy appointments for instruction on the Acapella flutter device to help clear the mucus from my bronchial tubes, likely accumulating from past infections. I certainly want my respiratory system to be as healthy as possible in the face of potential coronavirus invasion.
Being home continuously for several months, however, has afforded much appreciation of our primary property. I have watched the flora and fauna emerge throughout the spring and into summer. Flowers erupted sequentially: forsythia, vinca, lily of the valley, daffodils, azaleas, cherry tree and dogwood blossoms, rhododendrons, irises, peonies, day lilies, hostas and hydrangeas.
Our yard is frequented by squirrels, chipmunks and rabbits, and the occasional majestic deer, stealthy coyote or cocky turkey. Birds abound including blue jays, red cardinals, predatory red-tailed hawks, chickadees picking nest material from my coconut husk hanging planters, and an unusual indigo bunting visitor. A cardinal has nested in a rhododendron bush. Our nearby pond had a mating pair of swans who guardedly paraded their five cygnets in the water.
Unfortunately, our love of viewing nature is not similarly repeated by our dog Oliver, whose natural predatory instincts can be aroused. We were distraught to witness Oliver capturing and munching startled and frozen baby bunnies in our backyard, forcing us to quickly devise bunny protection measures until they were old and fast enough to escape.
But generally, Oliver has been treated to our constant presence and frequent runs with Jesse and walks with me. I’ve met many neighbors on their canine walks as well, as we jointly determined whether the dogs should social distance. I’ve ordered dog necessities online, including dog food, chew sticks and anti-tick applications. I bought for myself a springer spaniel design dog mask, inspiring me to order a turtle design mask for a friend who volunteers at a turtle rescue facility.
While my online shopping had been increasing lately, especially with Amazon Prime’s free delivery, the semi-quarantining brought this to a new level. For potential illness, I ordered a digital thermometer and oximeter. I replaced broken household items: toaster oven, car vacuum, Keurig coffee maker, kitchen wastebaskets and outdoor Weber grill parts. I also ordered personal goods: Grethers Swiss throat lozenges, skin care products, and Anthropologie's Vanilla-scented perfume; Keen hiking sandals; an attractive and discounted Tumi carry-on bag from Bloomingdale’s, which of course I have yet to use; and an AllSaints star-studded, black leather handbag that I had been eyeing last winter and which had been advantageously reduced from $250 to $100 (also haven’t used yet). Jesse requested orders of sugar-free licorice and eyeglass croakies.
I very enthusiastically resumed playing tennis when our club opened the outdoor tennis courts by the end of May for my enjoyment, activity and exercise. That led to ordering tennis balls and tennis clothes through Tennis Express.
Our lives have been constricted but not inactive. Jesse “saw” patients by telemedicine, and had many Zoom meetings and lectures. We’ve Zoom-ed for birthdays, Passover seders, and extended family visits. Jesse and I played lots of eight-ball games on our previously little used pool table. I’ve resumed playing our home piano. We did much spring cleaning and cathartic elimination of excess stuff (but there’s definitely lots more to be done in that realm). We’ve watched many cable and streaming service series and films, while technologically-challenged Jesse (except for his surgical field) has become surprisingly adept at locating favorite films and actors by communicating verbally through our Comcast remote control. We slowly allowed our socially distant bubble to include close friends who visited and dined with us outside our house, and eventually progressed to outside restaurant dining.
And when the local Apple store finally re-opened in the mall, I went there, masked and gloved, to purchase a new IMac desktop to replace my old, seemingly molasses-infused IMac which had been limping along for months. And then, with much trepidation, even managed to set it up at home by myself with critical calls to Apple support and my personal techie guru, my brother David.
Our marriage survived a more up close and personal, 24/7 homebound lifestyle, and was likely good practice for Jesse’s imminent, end-of-year retirement (already anticipated before coronavirus). We figured out that we had to have separate produce drawers in the refrigerator. And we were both glad for Jesse’s careful and gradual return to work in June for elective surgeries and in-person patient visits.
We endured the last few months of our 49th year of marriage, and took our first trip away from home in three months. We drove to Cape Cod to celebrate oir anniversary at a beautiful beach resort, the Chatham Bars Inn, which had just been allowed to re-open in June.
We had already invited Stacy, Jason & Cooper to the same resort to celebrate our 50th next year. And we are somewhat sadly wondering, is that going to happen?
To that end, I have been reading constantly about the coronavirus pandemic, the ever-changing world and US statistics, the recommendations for flattening the curve, and most importantly advances in identifying, preventing and treating COVID-19. (In the meantime, voracious reader Jesse has read more than 50 books on his Kindle since March.) I am most encouraged by fast-tracking vaccine development such as one from Boston based-drug manufacturer Moderna and another from an Oxford University and AstraZeneca collaboration, as well as the one-minute coronavirus test being developed at Israel’s Ben-Gurion University. Be safe, but bring it on! Sad Nana wants to be her fully happy self again.
Comments